Tuesday 8 May 2012

Emerging from the Fog

When I teach Greek and Hebrew, I start the first semester by warning my students that they are about to enter what I call 'The Fog'.  A few weeks into the semester they will not know how the grammar they're learning fits together; they may not even remember why they signed up for the course.  They will be able to focus on only the lesson in front of them.  Then I promise them that if they trust me, and if they actually do the lessons as I put them in front of them, and if they listen for my voice in The Fog, the day will come when they EMERGE from The Fog.  It will all suddenly seem like it 'clicks', and seemingly out of nowhere, they will find themselves able to read whole verses in the original Greek or Hebrew!

I have just emerged from my own fog, the most demanding year of my life.  At the same time I was teaching full-time for the first time, in a new university, having moved from another country with all the accompanying adjustments; and looking for a permanent teaching position; and finishing my dissertation; and mostly failing to be a decent wife and mother.

I will say this: having been able for most of the year to do only what was right in front of me, I am so thankful for the voice of my Shepherd, calling to me through The Fog.  For much of this year I've been able to pray only, "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me."

The dissertation is submitted (but not yet defended); the school year is almost over (just teaching May term now); the contract for the new job is signed (but the move not yet planned).  So though I haven't left the work behind, The Fog has dissipated, and I am coming back to life.  He brought me out of it, and there is no other way I'd have made it.  Praise the Lord.