The Now and the Not-Yet

So I haven't posted about the big change coming our way, yet, but we've been living with it for a couple of months now, and the contract is signed, so it's time to go public.  :)  We are coming to the end of my PhD programme here in England; I'm aiming to submit my thesis on 1 July.  Which means I've been job searching!  And the winner is: Indiana Wesleyan University!  I've been appointed as a Visiting Professor of Religion in the undergraduate School of Theology and Ministry.  We're moving to Marion in late July.  Which means, among other things, that we've been preparing to wrap up our life here in Manchester.  I stepped down from my role as college chaplain at NTC this week.

Yesterday was my last chapel service, and it went very well.  My sermon was concluding our year-long series on 1 Cor 13, and we had a special focus on the graduates, and communion.  It was very moving, but I managed to make it all the way to the end with no tears!!  Until, that is, I came up at the very end to give the benediction.  My benedictions have become a bit of a special thing for me over the last two years; I take great joy in blessing my people.  So, I was perfectly fine, until I raised my hands for the benediction, and then, as I looked out over the congregation, BAM!  My face just crumpled, and I had to put my hands back down and compose myself before I could go on.  Lots of others joined me in crying, too, so it was ok.   :)  After the service, we went out into the sunshine for an end-of-year BBQ.  

Then this morning at coffee, they had a 'leaving do' for me.  The Student Council had bought me flowers and a card, and the faculty/staff had all signed a card, and bought me a HUGE box of chocolates, a lovely journal, and a stunning set of necklace and earrings, solid silver with onyx.  And several cards from others.  So all in all, a very nice celebration, and I feel loved.

People keep asking me how I feel, but I'm at a bit of loss to describe it.  I'm caught in a 'now-and-not-yet' place; having ended my ministry, but still with almost 3 months before we leave.  And at the same time, beginning to get communications and bits of our future life in Indiana creeping in.  So, I'm devastated to be leaving this place, and thrilled to be moving on, and overwhelmed with all the work left to do, and desperate to get it done and off my back, all at the same time.  They're letting me stay in my office until we leave, so I'll actually keep on working here, and being around for morning coffee, and lunch in the staff room, etc.  I'm glad for that.

And for a God who ushered the Not-Yet into the Now on the Cross.

Getting ready for the last chapel service of the year